Not "Fit-for-Purpose" But No Refund, Either

Don't buy this piece of s--t.

Or, if you are tempted to buy it (but wait until I tell you why you shouldn't), then at least buy it from an outlet that is ethically-principled and will take it back if it doesn't do for you, what you bought it to do for you.

So, I bought this piece of expensive (non-functional for me) equipment about six weeks ago, for the outrageous price (for a piece of foam) of somewhere around $64.

Immediately after buying it, I actually found my standard foam collar (that had cost me under $20) and put this new one to one side for some future use. That day came a few days ago, and I put it on for the first time.

The bloody thing damn near choked me within the first few minutes I had it on. I had to rip it off quick-smart.

See that piece of fabric that's attached to the foam and wraps around it at the front (see my photo)? That thing is way harder and stiffer than it looks. It also doesn't seem to be removable. And it presses hard up against the Adam's apple (or the female version thereof), creating the sensation of something being jammed between your windpipe and the collar.

There might be other neck owners that don't experience the same level of extreme discomfort with this product, but it certainly is not fit-for-purpose as far as my own neck is concerned.

So, I took it back to its place of purchase: Unichem in Masterton.

Now, I go into this store as little as possible. With a few exceptions (and one notable one), I find the service unfriendly, not particularly knowledgeable, and I just don't like the place. At all, for myriad reasons.

When I went in today to buy another couple of items and, at the same time, return this thing, I faced the first hurdle: Won't even consider it without your receipt.

'Would You Actually Refund Me, If I DO That?'

Anticipating what I strongly suspected would be the ultimate outcome, I asked this question:

"If I rummage through my last six weeks' shoebox worth of receipts and find it and come back in with it, will you actually refund me, anyway?"

To which the disregarding reply was: "You will need to come back in with your receipt, and we will go from there."

To which my reply was: "Would you please confirm whether or not you will refund me if I spend the time finding the receipt?"

With an impatient look, the staff member disappeared out the back.

She came back: "No."

Me: "But I can't wear it. It chokes me. It's not fit-for-purpose."

She: "It's got a mark on the inside of the neck bit. We can't send it back to the manufacturer."

My point precisely, Ma'am. That's how hard the bloody thing presses against my windpipe - and I only had it on for a few minutes!

She: "Sorry. We're not taking it back."

Now, what's wrong with that is just about everything, from both an ethical and from a customer service point of view.

Let me count the ways:

1) If it's not "fit for purpose", it's not fit for purpose. And if it's not fit for my purpose, it's not fit for purpose. And New Zealand consumer law requires it to be.

2) If a customer reports to a retailer that a product isn't fit-for-purpose, you shouldn't just be sending it back to the manufacturer for a refund, you should be feeding back to the manufacturer the customer's experience with their product. Or, at least, if you have anything other than monetary concern, you should be.

3) So you were going to send me away to hunt down a receipt that I told you would take me a lot of hassle to locate, and you were never going to refund me anyway? That's twisted.

4) Brand reputation. Do I need to elaborate?

5) Customer LTV (Life-Time Value). I'll cover this in more detail in other articles as time goes on, but the bottom line is this: OK, so let's say you enjoy either the satisfaction, or the avoidance of associated effort, and don't refund me. The $64 you saved in doing so, is absolutely dwarfed by the sales you're going to miss out on from me over the years i.e. my LTV to this outlet. Because, now I will be even LESS pre-disposed to spend my money with you.

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